What’s Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD)?
Have you ever felt emotionally crushed by what others might brush off as “small” criticism or even imagined rejection? Do you sometimes spiral into shame or anger after a comment, a facial expression, or a perceived social slight?
If so, you may be experiencing Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD)—a profound emotional sensitivity to rejection, criticism, or failure that can feel sudden, intense, and overwhelming. It’s a lived experience common among individuals with ADHD and/or autism (AuDHD).
RSD isn’t currently a formal diagnosis, but it is a term used by many neurodivergent people and professionals to describe the very real emotional pain that stems from being misunderstood, criticized, or dismissed.
Why Does RSD Happen?
RSD is emotional dysregulation.
Many people with ADHD or autism experience heightened emotional responses due to differences in how their brains process and regulate emotions. Combine this with a lifetime of feeling "too much," "too sensitive," or "too intense," and it's no wonder why some folks become hyper-attuned to rejection.
Research and lived experiences suggest several contributing factors:
Neurological sensitivity: ADHD is associated with differences in emotional processing and impulse control. Emotional pain, including rejection, can feel more intense and less manageable.
Masking and chronic invalidation: Many autistic and ADHD individuals, especially those diagnosed later in life report years of masking, being misunderstood, or dismissed. These experiences can heighten emotional sensitivity over time.
Social learning: Repeated experiences of exclusion, bullying, or being labeled "difficult" can condition the brain to be on high alert for rejection.
What Does RSD Feel Like?
People who experience RSD often describe:
Sudden, intense shame or embarrassment over minor criticisms.
A sense of personal failure or unworthiness after perceived rejection.
Explosive emotional responses like rage or sobbing that feel out of proportion, but are deeply real.
Avoidance of relationships or opportunities out of fear of being hurt.
Constant overthinking or “people-pleasing” to avoid disapproval.
RSD can feel like being emotionally burned from the inside, often leaving individuals exhausted, isolated, ruminating or doubting their worth.
RSD in ADHD and Autism
While RSD is most commonly discussed in ADHD spaces, many autistic individuals—especially those with co-occurring ADHD (often referred to as AuDHD)—also experience this form of emotional dysregulation. However, the mechanisms may differ:
Autistic people may experience emotional overload due to sensory sensitivity and social misattunement.
RSD in AuDHD individuals may also be shaped by internalized ableism, chronic masking, and a lifelong sense of not belonging.
It’s crucial to note that gender, race, and class can also shape how RSD is experienced and responded to by others. Diagnostic bias, stigma, and systemic exclusion often make the emotional impact even heavier for marginalized neurodivergent folks.
How to Manage RSD with Compassion
1. Name It Without Shame
The first step is recognizing what’s happening. RSD can be incredibly isolating—but you're not alone, and nothing is "wrong" with you. You're feeling deeply because you've likely learned that the world isn't always kind to tender-hearted or different people.
2. Self-Compassion > Self-Criticism
Practice speaking to yourself the way you would a friend:
“I’m having a really hard moment right now, and that makes sense. This pain is valid. I can breathe through this.”
Using tools from Self-Compassion CBT or ACT can help create space between the emotion and your identity.
DBT skills like “TIPP” (Temperature, Intense exercise, Paced breathing, Progressive relaxation) can help ground you during a spike.
Use ACT techniques to return to values-driven actions, even when emotions are loud.
Mindfulness can help build awareness of your emotional patterns without judgment.
4. Safe People and Supportive Spaces
Surround yourself with those who see and value you. Seek out neurodivergent-affirming communities, support groups, or therapy that validates your experience. You don’t need to earn your place by being perfect.
5. Anticipate Triggers Without Avoiding Life
It’s okay to plan for emotionally taxing situations (like performance reviews or social feedback). Create scripts, practice boundaries, and use supports—but don’t let fear of rejection rob you of meaningful opportunities. You are more than your pain.
6. Reframe Your Narrative
RSD isn’t about being “too sensitive.” It’s about being deeply attuned, emotionally rich, and historically misunderstood. With time and the right tools, your sensitivity can become a strength—not something to suppress, but something to honour.
You deserve kindness, both from the world and from yourself.